An author was being interviewed on a radio talk show the other day. For a brief segment, she was talking about how she works from home part time while her husband works as a doctor. She expressed how this arrangement has been beneficial to keeping her home and family running smoothly. Here is the quote from my memory:
"Everyone needs a wife. I mean that 1950s kind of wife that bakes and cleans and takes care of all of that stuff."
Before I get to my point, the context was clear that she was not making a sexist comment (especially since she is a woman). She was using the term "wife" as a euphemism for "person who keeps your life running", and she was including women in "everyone".
Lately I've been thinking about how true that is in my life. My wife stays home with the kids while I work. This works for us and honestly, I have a hard time understanding how couples make it work otherwise. There are so many responsibilities that families have outside of work. How do dual-income families find time for these things? I'm talking about home maintenance, financial planning, shopping, taking care of kids (of course very important), doing research on decisions that need to be made, and a million other important things I can't possibly list. I realize that some of these things you can hire people to do for you, but there are plenty that you cannot, such as caring for a sick child. Our son has medical issues that have caused what seems like daily doctor's appointments. I think if we both worked, one of us would have had to have quit by now. But even without medical issues, it's hard for me to imagine that it could work.
So, for those of you who are in dual-income families, I ask you: How do you do it? How do you keep your life running? For those of you in single-income families but who are married, I ask: Can you imagine your family running otherwise? For those of you who are single parents, I can only imagine how hard your struggle is, as you have the worst of both worlds: a single income and no one to share the burden. My heart goes out to you.
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Hi Mike great site. Fun post. Reminds me of an argument DH and I had while we were at BYU a 100 years ago. DH keeps asking me to do stuff for him. Finally I get mad. I tell him to do it himself because I have school and work too. He responds with that is what a wife is for ( imagine what you want, my response was not pretty). One of the points I made was that I need a "wife" too.
Fast forward 100 years and I am his "wife". Me, I have a housekeeper.
Neil Young's song, "A Man Needs a Maid" is one of my favorites. I don't think it's sexist (although I could be wrong). I think he's saying that we all need someone to do the housework so that we have time to really live and have meaningful relationships.
Anyway, my mom was a single parent for many years. She was a long-haul trucker and she took me with her everywhere. I remember talking to her about Mormons and she told me that she would often avoid the state of Utah in her travels because she was looked down upon as a woman and mother. She wasn't doing it right, she was supposed to be at home with her child while 'dad' worked. Little do they know that I spent more time with my mom (before I started school) than any other child I know of (including my own who are at home with my wife). I have since joined the LDS church, but I think there are lots of questions on this topic.
Thanks for the though provoking posts.
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