Wanted: Infantsitter

At my work we have online classifieds where people post questions and advertisements. Browsing this morning, I found this one (quoting from memory):

"Anyone interested in babysitting an infant? My wife is expecting soon, and will be returning to work after 8 weeks. We had someone lined up but that fell through."

Something about this concerned me. I've posted about the stay-at-home vs. two-income household issue before, but let me reiterate that I try not to judge the decisions of individual families. The point of that post was to show how the common argument (that changes in our economic world have forced families into needing two incomes) is bogus as an explanation for the general trend. Certainly, though, there are individual circumstances that might necessitate two earners, or personal reasons that make being a stay-at-home parent not preferable.

I've been following a post on this issue at The Simple Dollar. Although the post and several of the comments are somewhat advocating daycare for children, I think some of the points they make are valid. I especially appreciate that the post advocates finding the best childcare possible.

All that is well and good, but is fishing for random people on the intranet classifieds crossing the line? Perhaps I'm jumping to conclusions or judging too harshly, but I would hope few would ever consider placing their 8-week-old infant in the care of an unqualified stranger all day, every day. If I'm wrong, then the state of our society is worse than I thought.

If I Didn't Have Kids

I thought of doing this post this morning, but now this post at Times and Seasons is making me feel guilty for it. But I hope it's understood that I don't mean to judge anyone else, nor to deepen the wounds of the suffering. This is just about my own personal experience.

It's amazing how different my life would be with no kids. If I didn't have kids:

1) I could spend more effort at work and be great at it and make lots of money. My wife could work as well, so we could buy a bigger house with lots of rooms that would sit empty.

2) I would spend more quality time with my wife and we would be 100% devoted to each other. Over time we would know everything about each other, and then suddenly have nothing to talk about.

3) I could follow my dream of becoming a singer-songwriter and become rich and famous (maybe), but I wouldn't have anyone to dance when I make up songs, no matter how bad they are.

4) I could exercise every day and really get it shape so I could live a long life, and then spend my older years with no one to visit me.

5) I'd never have to deal with teaching my kids how to make good choices, sometimes fruitlessly, and probably I wouldn't learn how to make good choices in the process.

6) I would get a lot more sleep and... well, I'd be less tired. Sorry, there's no bright side to that one.

Yes, my life would be a lot different without kids. If only I could choose it all over again, I would.

All I Want For Christmas Is...

My almost-one-year-old son has always been big. He was born big and he's still big. As a result, he goes through clothes fast. He was already too big for his infant clothes when he was born. Now, he's already wearing 2T to 3T clothes. That means we've gone through a lot of sizes in the last year, and it always seems we're a step behind and his clothes are always too small.

My almost-four-year old daughter hears us say often, "This shirt is just too small. We really need to get him some new clothes." Although I never knew how much she had been thinking about it until her Grandma took her to the mall to see Santa. When we picked her up from Grandma's house we, of course, asked her what she told Santa that she wanted for Christmas.

"I asked for new clothes for baby brother." she said. I don't think I've ever heard of asking for something for your siblings from Santa, but the request gets even more unique: "But I want him to give them to me so that I can give them to him."

That's a very peculiar request indeed. But surely Santa will be accommodating to the desire of a little girl to help her brother. I just wonder what she will think in 20 years when we watch the Christmas video and she sees that Santa got her little boy clothes. It never ceases to amaze me how much she loves her brother. My kids are a great example to me of brotherly, and sisterly, love.

Primary Program... Check.

Last week was our primary program in church. I am a primary teacher so I saw all the preparation that went into it. I like the primary program as much as everyone else, and I also think it is good to give the kids a chance to participate in sacrament meeting and get used to speaking in front of people.

But I couldn't help but notice the collective sigh of relief when it was all over. The music leader was noticeably giddy during singing time afterward, taking joy in singing primary songs that we haven't sang for a long time since we had to practice the program songs. The kids also seemed happier. I don't think I've ever seen them sing as well in primary this year. I think they enjoyed singing songs that were familiar to them. The spirit was strong.

Don't get me wrong, I like the songs that were written for the program, but most of them are not familiar to the kids and it takes a lot of time and effort to learn them. And there is a lot of time spent preparing in other ways. Does the primary program distract the primary leadership to some degree from what is truly important: the spiritual development of the kids?

I don't have the answers. And I respect and support the policy of the church to have a primary program. I just wonder if there is a different way we can implement this that would not feel like such a burden on those who are doing their best to serve the children.

Telling the Truth

Clunk. "Waahh!"

"Did you just throw your shoe at your brother?" My wife asked as she drove.

"No", my daughter answered innocently. Sure enough, her foot dangled shoe-less, and the other shoe was on the floor by her brother's car seat.

As we have done before, we gave her the lecture about being honest. Telling the truth is the right thing to do. It's what Jesus wants us to do.

"But why?" she asks.

She's been asking that for the last couple of days. Strangely, it seems that since that incident, every book she reads and every cartoon she watches has to do with honesty. Yesterday, her favorite morning cartoon was about the boy who cried wolf. Each time the topic comes up she's eager to share what's she's learned.

My daughter's on a mission to find out why it's so important to tell the truth.

I only wish we could get her as passionate about other things, like going to sleep when it's bed time!

Priority Mail

Yesterday my son was crawling on the floor, getting into things he wasn't supposed to, including an old shoebox that was once used to ship something.

I noticed something stuck to his bottom. On closer inspection, I found that it was a United States Postal Service "Priority Mail" sticker. I laughed out loud, thinking perhaps someone was trying to get rid of him.

But then I realized that he is, truly, the "Priority Male" of our household. I left the sticker on for a while.

Guest Blog on Millenial Star

I posted on Millenial Star today:

It's Not About You, Stupid